This transcript for White Collar is based on the transcriptions by Afiawri, with assistance from Photoash (hosts episodes and helped with parts of the transcripts), Wednesday_10_00 (helped with the Japanese in Home Invasion), and Tzikeh and Nightcamedown helped with the wine in Bottlenecked. Afiawri has generously granted us permission to share/host these transcripts.
Disclaimer: This transcript is intended for educational and promotional purposes only, and may not be reproduced commercially without permission from the producers. The description contained herein represents viewers' secondhand experience of White Collar.
[Neal holds the yellow origami flower from Kate while watching a woman, Alex Hunter, track a mark. Neal bumps into the man, stealing his wallet while Alex looks around to make sure the coast is clear. Alex bumps into the man and takes his wallet, too.]
Alex: Excuse me, sorry.
[The man checks for his wallet. It's gone. He looks around for Alex, but doesn't find her. Elsewhere, Alex passes Neal and doesn't notice. Alex opens up a wallet that's empty except for an origami flower. She looks around until she spots Neal. He shrugs. She waves. Cut to: The two of them standing on balcony over looking an ice rink.]
Neal: You telegraph your marks.
Alex: Four years in prison and you're still the best. Show off.
Neal: Miss me, Alex?
Alex: Never thought about it. You have something that belongs to me.
Neal: Actually, it, uh, [he glances at the wallet] belongs to a guy named Joe Nelson. Come on, you're still running that trick?
Alex: Small amusements to keep the day interesting. Now what do you want, Caffrey?
Neal: I need your expertise. On this. [He hands a picture of the music box.]
Alex: The music box. You finally admitting you never had it?
Neal: You go closer than anyone else.
Alex: We got closer, but that didn't work out.
Neal: Maybe it will this time.
Alex: Sorry, I can't help you. I gave up on that a long time ago.
Neal: Mmm-hmm. Then why do you still carry this in your purse? [He holds up a small figure.] It's a piece from the box, right? Know your mark, remember?
Alex: Don't fault me for nostalgia. I couldn't bring myself to part with it. I don't know anything more about the music box.
Neal: My number's in here. [He holds out the flower.] In case. Good to see you, Alex.
[Cut to: crowded street. We pull back to see it's on one of several monitors in a surveillance van.]
Peter: Shift change, boys and girls. What's happening?
Jones: Nothing unusual, bunch of housekeepers and staff coming in now.
Peter: Our insider trader do any insider trading?
Cruz: Oh, he's been a little too preoccupied to take any calls. Rewind the tape, Jones.
Peter, watching: That doesn't look like Mrs. Grey.
Cruz: Got himself a nooner with a younger version.
Jones: How do you know he's paying for it? Maybe it's true love.
Cruz: Seriously, a guy that old with a girl that young? He's buying her with something.
Peter: When was this?
Jones: About forty minutes ago.
[The sound of gun shot rings out.]
Peter: Was that on tape?
Jones: That was a gunshot.
Peter: Shots fired. Lauren, call the op center, request immediate back up. Move in, move in!
Cruz: This is Lauren Cruz with squad C12, cred number one-one-zero.
[Cut to: inside Grey's house.]
Peter, bursting in the door: FBI!
[Jones and Cruz follow Peter in.]
[They make their way up the stairs, and spot a man is on the floor.]
Peter: We've got a body, it's Grey. [He approaches, and then hears sobs from behind the couch.] Let me see your hands.
Pierce: He ran- he ran out that door. Right over there.
Jones: Got footprints going out the door.
Peter: Keep your hands where I can see them. [To Cruz:] Back up on the way?
Cruz: Yeah, NYPD should be here in a second.
Peter: Jones, check the upstairs. Tell NYPD we're pursuing a male suspect, armed and dangerous.
[Cruz handcuffs Pierce.]
[Peter takes off his coat and puts it over Pierce's shoulders.]
Peter: All right. Have a seat.
Jones, off screen: It’s clear upstairs.
Peter: Tell me your name.
Peter: Pierce, can you tell me what happened?
Pierce: Um, he was hiding in the room when we came inside. Then the gun fired. Happened so quickly-
Peter: And the man went out the door. All right, all right. [To Cruz:] I want you to escort here to the hospital with NYPD for review. Try to get a description of this guy. Okay, people, let's round up the staff. I want to talk to every single person who's been in this house today. Jones, find me Caffrey.
[Cut to: Neal walking up the stairs of the Grey house.]
Peter: Go ahead.
Neal, aghast: That's a dead body.
Neal: This doesn't really fall into my area of expertise, Peter. Murder isn't an intellectual pursuit, and I'm not really a dead guy kind of guy, so I'm gonna go.
Peter: You have a lot of rules for a guy who doesn't play by them.
Peter: Aldys Christopher Grey. Heard of him?
Neal: Yeah, stock trader. Made a killing in derivatives right before the crash. He has quite the art collection. Maybe this is my area of expertise.
Peter: We've been sitting on him for three weeks. Today, he comes home with a woman, possibly an escort. Somebody takes a shot at him. By the time we get here, he's dead, the killer's gone.
Neal: So what am I doing here?
Peter: Something's off. What's wrong with this picture?
Neal: Where's the witness?
Peter: She's in shock, had bruises all over her. Lauren traveled with her to the hospital with NYPD.
Neal: [Snaps on a pair of gloves.] Walk me through it, Sherlock.
Peter: Yeah, all right. The witness says that the shooter was already inside.
Neal: This the girl's purse?
Peter: She and Grey came in, there was a struggle, shots were fired, Grey ends up here. Now, I- [At Neal, going through the purse:] You paying attention?
Neal: Yeah, yeah, I can multitask.
Peter: All right, so, the witness was doubled up over here, in this corner. She said that they struggled and then the guy went out the door. I entered and then I- [He stops short while Neal fiddles with Pierce's ID.] I'm sorry, am I boring you?
Neal: It's a fake.
Neal: Ink hasn't had time to fully dry. But it's high-end work, Peter, can't just get this off the street.
Peter: No, you can't. Jones.
Peter: Run indices on Pierce Spelman. And call Lauren. I want to see if we can get a real name off of Pierce, her ID is a fake.
Jones: Copy that.
[Peter walks over to the spilled plant and the dead man. He squats down by the dead man's feet. There's soil on one shoe.]
Peter: She used his shoe to make an impression in the dirt. She's not a witness, she's the shooter.
Jones: Agent Burke!
Peter: No one else was in the room.
Jones: Cruz is at the hospital. Took Pierce in for a private exam, left her alone to undress. She slipped out the back. She's gone.
[Cut to: Intro.]
[Cut to: Peter stepping out of the elevator and into the office. Neal's working at his desk.]
Neal: You're late. You're never late.
Peter: Heh, rough morning, had to take the subway in. Know how hard it is to rush when you're carrying this many bags?
Neal: Did Elizabeth kick you out?
Neal: Then why the bags?
Peter: You ask too many questions. Lauren, you looking up that stuff?
Cruz: On it.
Peter: Jones, you any closer to finding our missing girl?
Jones: Uh, we don't have much to go on. Fake name, no match for the prints found in the room. All we got is a purse. We'll get that from ERT this afternoon.
Peter: All right, stay on it. I want a briefing as soon as it gets here!
[Cut to: Jones sets down a box in front of Peter.]
Jones: Here we go.
[Cruz walks in with a stack of papers.]
Cruz: Your options.
Neal: [Looks at the papers Peter is going through.] Hotel rooms. Peter, what did you do?
Peter: We're upgrading our wiring system. Getting the whole HD, surround sound put it in. El took the dog and the car to her sister's, upstate. Good news is, once this all in place, I can watch the game. Once the power's back on.
Jones: How long will it be out?
Peter: Couple days. Hence, the hotel.
Cruz: The Thompson hotel. You said you wanted a big TV, they have the biggest.
Peter: How much is this?
Cruz: Eight hundred and twenty-five dollars a night. With our government discount.
Neal: Peter, it's ridiculous for you to stay in a hotel when there's more than enough room at June's.
Peter: No, thanks, I'll be fine. [Flipping through more pages:] This one has a pool. Never had a pool.
Cruz: Four hundred twenty-five dollars a night.
Peter: Let's go to the bottom of the pile. Ah, here we go. That one?
Cruz: Fifty-nine bucks.
Peter: Book it.
Cruz: Already did.
Jones: Isn't that the place where you put Neal when he was first released?
Neal: They have an interesting no heat policy.
Peter: I don't need amenities. Just give me a wall, a TV, and a bed, and I'm happy.
Neal: Are you serious?
Neal: Peter, mi casa es su casa.
Peter: Su casa is not even su casa. Jones, what do we have?
Jones: Okay, these are the items from the woman's purse. Name on the ID is Pierce Spelman, but the card's fake. No record of her prints. We found the gun stuffed inside the fire place, wiped of prints, serial number filed off.
Neal: Whoever she is, she's good.
Jones: That looks like a to do list.
Neal, reading: Verify pie, spike R N...
Peter: That's an odd list of activities.
Neal: It's a code.
Peter: Get this to the crypt analyst and then back to me. I better go check into my hotel.
Neal: Uh, no, no, no, motel! Motel, with an m.
[Cut to: June's. Neal is working on the code with his scrabble board. There's a knock on the door.]
Neal: Yep, I’m coming!
Alex: You're a bastard.
Neal: Good evening, Alex.
Alex: I looked into you, Caffrey. Know your mark, right?
Alex: You've turned fed!?
Neal: I was forced fed.
Alex: That's funny, Neal. I know it's been a while, but it's, uh, still my job to dig up confidential information.
Neal: Occupational hazard?
Alex: Did you really think I wouldn't find out?
Neal: There was a small hope. Okay. Okay, every now and again they go after so Madoff type guy and ask me how he did it. Other than that, I barely communicate with them.
Alex: Then why the anklet?
Neal: They don't like me much. They use the anklet to track me remotely so they don't have to deal with me in person.
Alex: Are you trying to set me up?
Neal: I'm trying to get something we both want. What did you find, Alex?
[Cut to: A picture of a nice hotel room, on a flyer. Zoom back to reveal a really shoddy motel room.]
Peter: Motel with an m. No TV.
[A dug walks in past him and settles down on the bed.]
Peter: Somebody lose a dog?
[The dog barks.]
Peter, approaching: What're you doing?
[The dog barks and snarls as Peter backs out of the room.]
[Cut to: Neal and Alex sitting at his table.]
Alex: Why the sudden curiosity about the music box?
Neal: I couldn't look for it in prison, but I'm out now. And I was starting to miss you.
Alex: Nice try. [She pulls out the piece from the music box.] I tracked down the fencewho gave me this. He says there's been a sudden interest in the box.
Neal: Does he know who has it?
Alex: He still won't tell me how he got this.
Neal: We have to find it before someone else does.
Alex: What's going on? This isn't just about the box.
[There's a knock on the door.]
Alex: You get a lot of late night visitors.
Neal: Yeah, it's probably just my land lady. [Louder:] Who is it?
Peter: It's Peter!
Alex: Who's Peter?
Neal: Oh, he's- he's just a friend. But he can not know you're here about the music box. We need a cover.
[Alex gets up and wiggles out of her skirt.]
Neal: What are you doing?
Alex: Why else would I be here?
Neal, laughing and undoing his tie: Just like old times.
Neal: Coming! [To Alex:] You good?
Neal, quickly, as he opens the door: What's up buddy? What're you doing here? Peter, oblivious: Oh, I'm so sorry for barging but I- [He stops short and turns to see Alex in the bed.] Oh, I'm really sorry.
Neal: No, no, it's fine, she was just leaving.
Peter: No, no, no, I'll go.
Alex: Are you a friend of Neal's?
Peter: You can say that, yes. Peter Burke.
Alex: How do you two know each other?
[Neal makes a no motion across his throat.]
Peter: I'm an FBI agent.
[Neal shuts the open door and looks disappointed.]
Peter: How's it going?
Alex: FBI. Interesting.
[Peter gives Neal a look. Neal gives him an it's fine wave.]
Alex, pulling on clothes: Lovely to see you as always Neal.
Peter: Hey, don't leave on account of me.
Alex: Oh, no, no, no. [significantly, to Neal:] We're done.
[She rearranges a few tiles on the scrabble board. Peter catches it. She leaves.]
Peter: Nice girl.
Neal: Yeah. She's an old friend.
[Peter reads the scrabble board: FED.]
Peter: You got better looking friends than I do. What about, uh, Kate?
Neal: Well, you told me to forget her.
Peter: And you listened to me?
Neal: There's a first time for everything.
[Peter fidgets with Neal's chessboard.]
Peter: Ah, who you playing?
Neal: Please don't touch that. What are you doing here? What happened to the hotel?
Peter: Motel. And it was occupied.
Neal: Oh, dog staying there.
Peter: Yeah, what's with the dog?
Neal: Now you understand why I was forced to seek other accommodations.
Peter: Mmm. Lucky for us.
Peter: Yeah. Su casa es mi casa, right? Right? Yes.
Neal: All right.
Peter: Oh, I just got hungry. Where's the remote?
Neal: This is gonna be really fun.
[Cut to: Neal getting out of bed. He puts on a robe and goes to the scrabble board, only to find Peter and June on the balcony.]
Peter, reading from a newspaper, amused: When asked, he quoted that he and the cow had been friends for years.
June: No. The cow?
June: Oh, Neal never does this for me.
Peter: No, I know.
Neal: You sleep okay?
Peter: Oh, I could get used to this.
Neal: You're in my chair.
Peter: Oh, I didn't see your name on it.
Neal: You guys playing scrabble?
June: Sort of.
Peter: Trying to figure out what this means. [Peter holds up the list.]
June: I've seen a code once or twice in my life. We were playing with shift ciphers. Neal, clearly displeased: Yeah. Glad you were having fun. [He walks back inside.]
Peter: We should get him a banana.
June: I think so, yes.
[Cut to: Peter, looking at the scrabble board.]
Peter: This is the actual list, isn't it? You stole from evidence.
Neal: Borrowed. Okay, I made a copy for you guys. Doesn't matter, I tried key words, anagrams, Charlemagne cipher, Rohans, everything.
Peter: Aldys Grey. You spelled his name wrong. Aldys is spelled with a y.
Neal: What? It's a shift code hidden in an anagram. All right, there are five items in the list. Shift the alphabet four by five letters, A becomes E, B becomes F, reassemble... Check PEW V becomes Aldys Grey.
Peter: It's a list of names.
Neal: A hit list.
Peter: The dead guy's fourth down. Let’s find out who's next.
[Cut to: FBI office.]
Cruz: Morning. Crypt analyst called.
Peter: Shift code hidden in an anagram.
Cruz: She called you too?
Peter: No, but I need you to pull these names ASAP.
Jones: Hey, Peter, how was the hotel last night?
Peter, with a glance at Neal: Fine, loud, bed's are bad, you know.
Neal: Peter stayed at my place. Couldn't handle the motel.
Peter: I can handle the motel, I just prefer tormenting you.
Neal: Mm-hm. [He walks off.]
Peter: Jones, do me a favor. Want you to run prints on this. [He holds up a plastic bag with a scrabble F piece in it.] See if we can find out who they belong to.
Jones: Keep it quiet?
[Cut to: Conference room. Cruz has a board with four pictures on it.]
Cruz: So the first two guys on the cracked code list are Earl Bauen, an oil guy from Texas, and John Elga from L.A. They both shut up real quick when I sent over Pierce's picture. Swore they had never laid eyes on her.
Neal: They married?
Cruz: Yep. Third guy is Ben Thalen, he's a real estate titan from New Jersey. Two months ago, he claims he was shot during a hunting accident.
[She hands Peter a picture of a hand gun.]
Peter: With a c-cam 32 ACP. That's a good hunting weapon.
Neal: Mmm-hmm. I'm guessing he never met Pierce either.
Cruz: Right. Speaking of Pierce, we found a set of fingerprints that we think are hers. We highlighted the areas where she touched. [She hands a picture of the crime scene off.]
Neal: Well, she's searching for something. Her prints are all over the drawers and around the paintings. Maybe looking for a safe.
Cruz: You think she's robbing them?
Peter: Then why didn't she take his wallet or any of the valuables in plain sight? This list in precise. She's looking for something specific.
Neal: Yeah, she's smart. Appeals to their greatest weakness to get in the door, then takes what she needs.
Cruz: But why shoot Thalen and kill Grey?
Peter: Pierce had bruises on her back, right?
Peter: She couldn't've done that to herself.
Neal: What, you think Grey walked in mid-theft?
Peter: Yeah. Preliminary tox screens on Grey reveal a mild barbiturate in his system. She probably drugged him and then went looking for what she's after.
Neal: He woke up, they struggled, she pulled a gun...
Peter, muttering: She's not afraid to kill if she has to. [To Cruz:] Who's next on the list?
Cruz: Last one's a local. Fifth and last and single. Daniel Picah. [She hands Peter a file of an average looking man.] Trust fund baby. Family left him a mess of money.
Neal: Wonder what he has that's so appealing?
Peter: Whatever it is could get him killed. Is he talking?
Cruz: Yeah, you could say that.
[Cut to: Neal and Peter getting off an elevator in a mansion.]
Peter: We should talk to June about getting an elevator.
Neal: Didn’t think you were staying that long.
Daniel Picah: Hey, FBI guys. How's it going?
Peter: I'm Agent Peter Burke, this is Neal Caffrey.
Dan: Not Agent Neal Caffrey?
Dan: Oh, what do you consult on?
Neal: Frauds, forgeries, cons. [He flips his hat onto his head as he starts to walk around.]
Dan: Awesome hat trick. Can you teach me that?
[Neal smiles like that was a joke. He bends down to examine a bust.]
Dan: You like that statue? Don't worry, it's real.
Neal: He uses a Boaz Vaadia bust as a hat rack. You know how much this bust is worth?
Dan: I paid four fifty for that.
Neal, under his breath: I can't be here. [He starts to walk away.]
[Peter pulls him back.]
Peter: Mister Picah.
Dan: Hey, we're friends, call me Dan.
Peter: Okay, Dan. Have you, uh, been in contact with any beautiful women recently?
Dan: Sure, it's New York. I'm dating all the time. Why, what's going on?
Peter, pulling out a photo: No, have you been in touch with her?
Dan: No, but she's pretty. Should I be in touch with her?
Neal: We think she might be after something you own. Something... rare.
Dan: Awesome, I've got tons of stuff. What do you think she wants?
Peter: We were hoping you could tell us.
Dan: Maybe it's my sword! It's a Go Yoshohiro. Japanese. Thirteenth century. Cost me two hundred twenty thousand dollars, if you can believe that. I love history. [to Neal:] Do you like history? Silent type, I get it. [whispering to Peter:] You ever pull your weapon? [Peter nods.] You... shoot anybody?
Peter: I've come close a few times. [To Neal:] Hey, we've got to move this along.
Neal: Are you not standing in the same space I am? Peter, it could be anything. All of this is valuable. I'm completely incoherent.
Dan: You guys want to see the rest of the place?
Neal, shaking his head, pleading: No, no, let's get out of here.
Peter, quietly: We have to. [loudly:] Let's go, Moriarty. [to Dan:] Yeah, that'd be great.
Dan: Awesome. I've got four floors. Let's start at the top.
[Cut to: Neal’s apartment. He's surrounded by books and reading up on the music box. He hears Peter coming up the stairs and shoves his current book under the couch cushion.]
Peter: Hey. Want a beer?
Neal: Oh, we don't have any beer.
Peter: Oh, I got some. I got us a whole case. [He grabs a beer and sits down on the couch.]
Neal: You're sweating.
Neal: And this is a nice couch, so I don't want-
Peter: Yeah, it's comfy. [He turns on the TV.]
TV: Yeah, let me you get your shoes any time you want-
Neal: I’ve got- I'm reading, I'm doing some research.
Peter: Yeah, so am I. I'm reading, I'm researching and listening. I'm multitasking.
[Neal turns down the TV until it's silent.]
Peter: What- what are you doing? I to- no, no. When I'm in my home, I listen to the game and I look at my case files.
Neal: Too bad we're not in your home.
Peter: Well yeah, the power's still off. [He turns the volume back up.] So we'll have to hear it.
Neal: All right, I'm going downstairs.
Neal: No, I'm going downstairs. I can't think, it's too loud.
Peter: All right.
[Neal leaves. Peter scoots over and looks at the books Neal was reading. He sits on the cushion with the book under it and finds the book.]
Peter: The music box.
Neal: Peter! [He bursts through the door just as Peter finishes hiding the book.] Go back to the house.
Peter: I told you the power's out, I can't go back-
Neal: No, no, Christopher Grey's house. The FBI interrupted Pierce's search. She wasn't expecting that.
Peter: So whatever she was looking for is still there. Maybe we can figure out what Grey and Dan have in common if we go back…
Neal and Peter in unison: With Dan.
[Cut to: Neal and Peter getting off Dan's elevator.]
Dan: It's the FBI guys! Hey, welcome back.
Peter: Uh, Dan, we need your help with something. Mind coming with us?
Dan: Awesome, of course. Let me get my hat.
[Neal takes off his hat and gets in the elevator.]
Dan: Let's go.
Peter: Yeah, looks good.
Dan: Thank you.
[Cut to: Grey's house.]
Dan, loudly: So this a crime scene?
Dan, pointing at the chalk outline: That was where the body was. Don't touch anything, right? I won't. Just, uh, survey the scene.
Peter: Dan, look in every room. It could be anything you have.
Dan: Yeah, I'll let you know, Pete. Hey, Neal, maybe you could teach me that hat trick some time.
Neal: Yeah, yeah maybe.
Peter, quietly: He wants to learn your hat trick. That's adorable.
Neal: Don't. Don't, Peter.
Peter: No, it's adorable, it's adorable.
Peter, to Cruz: Go keep an eye on him.
Dan: What happens if I don't find it, where're we going next?
Neal, to Peter: He's still on 'cause he wants to hang out with you.
Peter: No, he's still on 'cause he wants to hang out with you.
Neal: No, he saw your-
Dan: Is that fingerprint dust? Neal did you see this?
Cruz: Okay! Yeah, let's go check another room.
[Cruz leads Dan out.]
Neal: You're hanging out with him.
Peter: No, you're hanging out with him.
Neal: This is your job.
Peter: There is nothing about my job-
Neal: Rock paper scissors, rock paper scissors.
[Cruz and Dan come back, Cruz holding a jade elephant.]
Cruz: This is it.
Dan: Did I do good?
Neal: You did great.
[Cruz hands Neal the elephant.]
Neal: Peter, you know what this is?
[Cut to Neal, Peter, Dan, Cruz, Jones and two jade elephants in the conference room.]
Peter: It's one of the emperor's five elephants.
Dan: There's five?
Neal: In 1421, ambassadors from all over the world came to China to celebrate the inauguration of the forbidden city. Upon leaving, the Chinese empress Yu Ji gifted them each with a treasure.
Peter: They were subsequently stolen and reappeared in the United States in 1901. They were broken up and sold individually.
Neal: This is imperial jade, so each statue on its own is relatively valuable. How much did you pay for yours, Dan?
Dan: Eight hundred thousand, if you can believe it.
Neal: Yeah, combine one with the other, and you just doubled your price. Link them all together and they're worth between a hundred and fifty and two hundred million fenced on the black market.
Diachi Yoshida, entering: Or to us, a priceless pieces of our history.
Hughes: Agents- and Neal- this is Diachi Yoshida of the Japanese embassy.
Neal: Konichiwa. Youkoso. [He bows.]
Yoshida: Arigatou gozaimasu. [He bows back, not as far down.]
One of Yoshida’s company: Konichiwa
Dan, whispering but loud: You are the ambassador of awesome.
Peter: Don't encourage.
Yoshida: We are not interested in the monetary value of the statues. We'd like to bring them home.
Hughes: The Japanese government has filed a claim stating the statues were stolen from them and illegally imported to the US. We're cooperating in the efforts to restitute them to their proper ownership.
Yoshida: And we thank you, Mr. Picah, for turning over your piece. [He bows.]
[Dan bows back.]
Dan: See, I did good.
Neal: You did good, Dan.
Hughes, to Yoshida: We can finish this discussion in my office. [Yoshida and the people accompanying him file out.] It's very important we recover the missing pieces in the set, Peter. We don't want an international incident on our hands.
Peter, shutting the door after Hughes: Can't recover any of these pieces until we find out where Pierce is.
Neal: What if we know who her next target is?
[Cut to: Peter's office. Jones knocks.]
Jones: Hey, Peter, you got a sec.
Peter: Yeah, just going through Dan's phone logs. Again. No contact with Pierce. Lauren still going through his computer?
Jones: Yeah. Listen, I got that other info you asked for. [He hands Peter the plastic baggie with the scrabble F.] Her name's Alexandra Hunter. [He hands Peter a file.]
Peter: She's a high end fence, deals mostly in Eastern European antiquities, only been arrested once in France, but all charges were mysteriously dropped.
Jones: Talked to a former law school buddy of mine in the DA's office, you know, just to see if he'd heard of her. All he'd say is she has powerful friends. Anything else?
Peter: No. Thanks.
Jones: All right.
Cruz: I got something! I've been going through all of Dan's online dating profiles.
Jones: Come on, this guy did not play college football.
Cruz: Yeah, he's not a doctor either.
Peter: He changed his profile picture to include the hat. It just gets more adorable.
Cruz: Well, Pierce must have thought so too. She's desperate enough for the jade elephant she "winked" at him last night. Left her phone number. Belongs to a prepaid.
Jones: So what, should we arrange a meet? Move in for an arrest?
Peter: No, our evidence is too circumstantial. Hughes is concerned we don't have enough to hold her and she'll disappear with the jade for good, which will not make the Japanese happy.
Cruz: Which will not make Hughes happy.
Peter: I say we send Dan in for one hell of a date.
[Cut to bar as Pierce enters and spots someone who appears to be Dan wearing the hat at bar.]
[Neal turns around.]
Pierce: You look a little different in your profile picture.
Neal: Pleasantly surprised?
Pierce: No. [She turns to leave.]
Neal: Stay. Stay, for just one drink. Promise you, it's worth it. I'll have Ketel One on the rocks, please. Thanks.
Pierce: Who are you?
Neal: I'm the guy who set you up. The FBI was sitting on Christopher Grey's house ‘cause I tipped them off.
Pierce: And why would you do a stupid thing like that?
Neal, showing a picture of two Jade elephants: So I could get to these first.
Pierce: You got Daniel Picah's. How did you get to it so quickly?
Neal: Dan just needed a friend.
Pierce: I take it you don't approve of my methods.
Neal: I think there are smarter ways of getting what you want.
Pierce: Well, it's different for a man. You should be grateful for that luxury. I, uh, have to work with what I've got.
[Cut to: Surveillance van. The entire team is listening intently.]
Neal, over the equipment: Slightly jaded perspective. Excuse the pun.
[Everyone in the van looks a little disgusted.]
[Cut back to the bar.]
Pierce: I don't think so. I've a lot to work with.
Neal: You do have something I want.
Pierce: And how do you propose we solve that?
Neal: Team up. I've got two, you've got three. Separate worth about two million. That’s not bad. But together, they're worth about two hundred million, which, if you're bad at math, is significantly higher.
Pierce: I prefer to work alone. [She walks away.]
Neal: Then enjoy your two million! [He pushes the glass he got for her over towards her. She comes back and picks it up.] So you are good at math.
Pierce: You underestimate me.
[Cut to: surveillance van.]
Peter: He's got her! Okay, Neal, close the deal.
[Cut back to bar.]
Alex: Miss me Caffrey?
[Cut back to van.]
Cruz: Who's that?
Neal: What're you doing here, Alex?
Jones: That's Caffrey's fence.
Peter: She's going to blow the deal.
[Cut to bar.]
Alex: I don't see you for five years and within minutes of waltzing back into my life I've got the [hint to Pierce who is listening intently:] FBI checking up on me?
Pierce: This is another setup. [She gets up to leave.]
Neal: No, it’s not.
Alex: It stinks when somebody messes with your job, doesn't it? FBI ran my prints. That's bad for my business.
Neal: It's not what you think, Alex.
[Cut to: surveillance van.]
Peter: Jones, you run interference with Alex. Lauren, take the back exit. I'll take the side. We can't lose track of Pierce!
[Cut to: Neal running after Pierce outside.]
Neal: Not much of an escape route.
Pierce: I'm good on my feet.
Neal, grabbing her: I want the Jade. You're not going anywhere without me.
Pierce: It's just like a man to think he knows everything. [She spots some men working across the street and shrieks:] HELP!
Neal, wrapping his arms around her: Woah, woah, woah.
Pierce: PLEASE! HE'S ATTACKING ME! HELP, HE'S ATTACKING ME! HELP!
Men: Get your hands off her!
Neal, quietly: You're very clever.
Pierce: I work with what I've got. [She jerks out of his grip and runs as three men surround Neal.]
Neal: I think there's been a misunderstanding here, guys. She's crazy!
Men: You got a problem.
Neal: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Peter: FBI! LET HIM GO! Let him go.
Men: Was attacking a woman, but-
Peter: All right, all right, I'll it from here.
Neal: Thank you so much for that, thank you.
Peter: All right
Peter, into the radio: Lauren, got Neal. Pierce disappeared into the crowd. [to Neal:] You see where she went?
Neal: No, I was a little preoccupied with the guys closing into kill me! Cutting it a little close there, huh?
Peter: Yeah, weren't expecting your girlfriend to show up. I know about Alex.
[Cut to: Peter and Neal heading towards Peter's car.]
Peter: She disappeared again. What the hell happened back there, Neal? What was your fence doing walking right through the middle of our operation?
Neal, disbelieving: What were you doing pulling her prints? Well, I welcome you into my home, and you run a file on my friend? You can't trust me. After everything.
Peter: You tell me. I know you're looking for the music box. Maybe you're looking to pawn the Jade too. You let Pierce walk because you're playing your own angle?
Neal, pissed: There were three of them, Peter.
Peter: You shouldn't've let her go!
Neal: Okay, you know what, you think what you want to think, I'm walking from here.
Peter: Where you going?
Neal: Home! Something you don't have right now. You don't trust me, you can check my anklet.
Peter: I will!
Neal: Do it!
[Cut to: Neal's place. He opens the door to find Pierce pointing a gun at him.]
Neal: You found another gun. Good.
Pierce: Hello, Mister Caffrey.
Neal: How'd you find me?
Pierce: Your friend let your last name slip at the bar. I did a little research. Come in, sit. Shut the door behind you.
Neal: You always break into places dressed like that?
Pierce: Where are the pieces?
Neal: Gave them to a friend for safe keeping.
Pierce: Take me to them.
Neal: Okay. [He starts to get up.]
Pierce: Wait. We won't be taking your tracking anklet with us, Neal. [She hands him a pair of scissors.]
Neal: As soon as I cut this, an alarm is triggered. Response time is five minutes.
Pierce: So let's be quick.
[There's a knock on the door.]
June: Neal? Neal?
Neal: Okay, okay.
Pierce: Speak a word and she's dead. [She walks Neal over to the couch and opens the door.] Hi. Can I help you?
June: Um. Oh, I- sorry to interrupt. I know you told me you were just going to wait forNeal to arrive, but I heard the door slam. Is everything all right?
[Neal has snipped his anklet and is reconnecting and disconnecting it.]
Pierce: Sorry. Long day. Neal's actually just getting out the shower. But I will tell him you stopped by?
June: That's fine.
Neal, holding up his tracker: Tick-tock. [He tosses it on the floor.]
Pierce: Let's go.
[Cut to: Cruz running up the stairs of the White Collar Unit to Peter's office.]
Cruz: Neal cut his anklet.
[Cut to: June looking through photos of Neal's associates with June's and Cruz’s help.]
June: Oh, that's her.
[Behind her, Hughes and Peter walk down the stairs.]
Hughes: All right, pull every alias Caffrey has. Hit the airports and the waterways. We can't let him escape with the Jade or the Japanese are going to be very, very upset.
Peter: I don't think they ran together. Neal knows better by now.
Hughes: Peter, he set Alex up as a fence for the jade and he let Pierce escape tonight.
Caffrey put every damn thing in place.
June: Peter. We both know he didn't run.
[Peter nods. Cruz holds up a picture of Pierce.]
Peter: Pull Neal's tracking information. I want to see everywhere he went this week.
[Cut to: The conference room.]
Cruz: That's Neal at the bar tonight.
Peter: Just let it play. All right, that's us walking to the car. That's him deciding to walk instead. Can you fast forward it?
Cruz: Mm-hm…That's him at June's house.
[The dot on the screen starts flashing.]
Jones: Guess Caffrey cuts it here, why don't we go back to yesterday?
Peter: Wait, wait, wait. What's that flickering at the end?
Cruz: A short circuit when he cut it?
Peter: Play it again. [It beeps again several times.] That's not short circuit, that's Morse code. [He speeds it up.] Power. I know where he is.
[Cut to: Neal and Pierce entering Peter's house.]
Neal: My buddy's upstate. [He flicks a light switch a couple of times; nothing happens.]
Cuts the power where he goes. It's the perfect hiding place for the Jade.
Pierce: Where are the pieces?
Neal: Told me he put them in a drawer. [Neal heads for a drawer.]
Pierce: Hey! You think I'm stupid? Stay back where I can see you. [She starts digging through the drawers.]
[Behind her, unnoticed, Neal starts flicking buttons on all the electronics.]
[Cut to: surveillance van.]
Jones: We can't get eyes inside. It's too dangerous to go in blind.
Peter: What if we give us a flash bang? On three, we turn on the power and we storm the entrances.
Cruz: What's going to happen when the power comes on?
Peter: I don't know, but I'm trusting Neal.
Jones: Okay, let's get the battering rams ready.
Peter: Are you insane? That's my house. I've got keys.
[Cut to: Pierce still rifling through drawers.]
Pierce, turning the gun on Neal: Where the hell are they?
Neal: He swore to me that they're here, okay?
Pierce: Don't play with me, Caffrey.
Neal: Hey, hey, I want this thing over just as much as you do, all right?
[Cut to: the team getting out of the van in flak jackets. They surround the house. Peter peers inside through a gap in the curtains and sees Neal standing there while Pierces continues searching.]
Cruz over Peter's radio: Ready?
Peter: If anyone knocks anything over, they deal directly with my wife.
Jones: Copy that. Ready?
Peter: Wipe your feet.
Jones: Ready at the back door.
[Cut to: Pierce getting impatient.]
Pierce: They're not in here, Caffrey.
Caffrey: If he said they're here, they're here, we just got to keep looking.
[Cut to: surveillance van.]
Cruz: On three the power's going on, ready? Here we go.
[Cut to: Neal panicking.]
[Pierce extends the gun, getting ready to fire.]
[Lights and TVs and radios burst to life, loudly and brightly, startling Pierce as the FBI bursts in.]
Radio: ERASE MY SOOOUL! ERASE MY HEART! ERASE MY SOOOUL! Bring it to the party.
[Peter turns down the radio.]
Neal: Welcome home.
[Cut to: the five jade elephants.]
Yoshida, bowing to Peter: Thank you. You've done a great service to our country.
Peter: It's our pleasure.
Hughes: Indeed. [To Peter:] Good job, Burke.
Peter: Couldn't've done it without Caffrey.
Neal: Kare wa ibiki o kaku! [(彼は鼾をかく)] [He imitates loud, obnoxious snoring.]
[Yoshida's company is laughing themselves silly and they look at Peter as he walks down the stairs.]
Neal: Excuse us. [To Peter, quietly:] She negotiated the jade for a four year sentence? I got four years and never killed anyone.
Peter: It's what she had to work with. It's better than what you had. Why they looking at me?
Neal: Oh, it's nothing, it's nothing. Check this out. The site to a hotel. Look at that TV.
Neal: Thanks to our good will with the Japanese ambassador, I've arranged for you to stay there.
Peter: Oh-ho. You kicking me out?
Neal: No! No, no, I just thought you could watch the game on that TV tonight. It's yours. For the rest of the week.
Peter: Have to go back to your place and get my bags.
Neal: What kind of friend would I be if I made you get your own bags? [He fetches
Peter's bags from behind his desk and hands them to him.]
Neal: You're all set.
Peter: Is this because I ran Alex's prints?
Neal: It's for so many reasons Peter. [He tosses Peter's basketball to him.]
Neal: Any time.
[Cut to: Neal trying to slip an origami flower into Alex's purse.]
Alex: Not this time, Neal. Those have lost their charm for me. What are you doing here?
Neal: I thought we could start fresh. Go back to the beginning...
Alex: You and I have too much of a history to start fresh, Neal.
Neal: Sorry. Should've been honest with you.
Alex: I know better than to trust you.
Neal: Likewise. I'm willing to take a leap of faith.
Alex: How willing? I know where the music box is.
Alex: Well, as long as you're working for the FBI, you'll never know.
Neal: Oh, come on.
Alex: Sorry, Neal.
|Season 1 Transcripts|
Pilot Transcript · Threads Transcript · Book of Hours Transcript · Flip of the Coin Transcript · The Portrait Transcript · All In Transcript · Free Fall Transcript · Hard Sell Transcript · Bad Judgement Transcript · Vital Signs Transcript · Home Invasion Transcript · Bottlenecked Transcript · Front Man Transcript · Out of the Box Transcript → S2: []